Work It, Baby

So this is how I usually try to lose weight.

1. Plan some sort of diet when none of my clothes are fitting.
2. Get sick of waiting for all of my diet planning to be done, set a date.
3. Miss deadline for starting.
4. Start the next day.
5. Workout so vigorously that I can barely tie my shoes.
6. Tell everyone about my new workout/diet program later that day.
7. Never workout again, eat pizza that night.

So I was going to come in here and complain about how I almost died today lifting for the first time in a YEAR, and how hard core I am for being a motherfucking champion beast when it comes to losing weight, but that does not seem to have worked out so well for me in the past.

Instead I am just going to say that I am bodily tired. That driving was nearly hazardous, as lifting my leg off of the gas pedal required near-Herculean effort. And that if I do end up not posting for the next few days, the most likely explanation is that I died and the Lunges were the ones that killed me.