Unexpected Email from My Dad that Made My Day, in Its Entirety

There was something I forgot to say to you as I am thinking about you now. I want to thank you for all the wonderful, caring and loving memories you gave me as you grew up before my eyes- I love to think about you- you are still my favorite thing to think about- and what a tapestry of richness it is- from you dancing with the puppy dog at our first place in Moline to your ice show, your love of playing 'can you go up,up,up' with me, your laugh, your never tiring interest in books of any kind- your hugs, your smiles, the sound of your voice, just being able to open the door and look at you as you slept- looking like an angel or a princess- and what a feeling of happiness and peace and love it gave me.

Shitshow Kitchen: The Best Roast Chicken EVAR (plus Bonus Garlic Mashed Potatoes)

I know what you are thinking. Roast chicken? Um, that seems like A.) alot of work, and 2.) impossible for me to make without screwing it over. Well, THINK AGAIN. This is so ridiculously easy that if it didn't involve chopping some stuff, handling raw chicken, and using an oven, a child could do it. OK, that was a really bad comparison. A child would cut off their hands, get salmonella, and light themselves on fire making this. But YOU will be fine. And it is SO EFFING DELICIOUS. It takes almost NO time to throw together, and the end result is perfect, every time. The chicken recipe is lifted wholesale from Ina Garten, who is my favorite.

You can tell this is healthy, because there are alot of veggies. And fruit.

INGERDIENTES! (How did that even happen right there. Well, you know what I mean.)

1 (5 to 6 pound) whole chicken
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 large bunch fresh thyme
1 lemon, halved
1 head garlic, cut in half crosswise
1/4 C butter (half a stick)
1 large yellow onion, thickly sliced
4 carrots cut into 2-inch chunks
1 bulb of fennel, tops removed, and cut into wedges
Olive oil
4 Yukon Gold potatoes
5 cloves garlic
1/4 C milk
3 T butter

If you are making this meal right away, then preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. Usually, I get this chopped/buttered/together in the morning, then put foil over the whole thing, throw it in the fridge, and put it in the oven an hour and a half before I want to serve it. Make sure your oven racks are on the lowest levels, or you will not have room for the chicken and you'll have to finagle them while they're smoking hot and your chicken is ready and you will undoubtedly burn yourself.

This is how we core the fennel, core the fennel, core the fennel

I do the veggies first. Chop them very roughly, into big chunks. Make sure you remove the fronds and the root-y type area from the fennel bulb first. And if you have never had fennel, you are MISSING OUT, DUDE. It is the Best Roast Veggie Evar.

Mmm. huge ol' chunks of fennel. These are going to be my favorite part.

Anyway, chop 'em all up, throw 'em in a roasting pan.

This was super easy but did require a knife so a three-year-old technically can't do it. YOU ARE SO ADULT!

Drizzle a little olive oil over the whole thing, then sprinkle it with a teaspoon or so of kosher salt and some pepper. Scatter about a third of your thyme branches over the veggies. THE VEGETABLES ARE READY. I know, so easy! So easy I can do it!

We are also pretty. Very, very, pretty. But not smart.

The chicken is slightly more difficult, but just barely. Take the giblets out of the cavity, then rinse the whole chicken, inside and out. If there are random chunks of skin or whatever, remove them so it looks like a chicken is supposed to look, not like Frankenstein. Make sure you kind of give it a once-over for any big feather quills that might have been missed.

Naked chicken!! It's NAKED!

Salt and pepper the inside of the chicken, then stuff the garlic and lemon inside with the thyme. Truss the leg bones (tie them together with string or do what I do, poke holes in the skin by the legs and pop each drumstick into the opposite side's skin. It works just as well, and doesn't leave the minty tang that dental floss does). Flip the wing tips under the body, then put the chicken on top of the veggies. I like to put the chicken on a rack over the vegetables, but I don't think it is necessary. Melt half a stick of butter in the microwave and pour the melted butter over the chicken, trying to coat all of the skin. The excess will go on the veggies which is totally fine. Salt and pepper it, then either put foil over the whole thing and put it in the fridge for later, or throw it in the oven.

It already looks good.

After you put the chicken in the oven, peel a few potatoes and a few cloves of garlic.

Yukon Gold, baby

Chop the potato roughly and put them with the whole cloves into a pot.

Tasty makers

Cover the potatoes with water, cover the pot, and put it on medium heat when the chicken's been in the oven for about 30 minutes. In the meantime, throw a few tablespoons of butter, a little splash of milk, and some thyme (not the branches, just the leaves) into a mixing bowl.

Fat fatty fat fat

When the potatoes mush apart when you push on them with a fork, they are ready-- it should be right around the time you pull out the chicken, which has to rest 20 minutes anyway. Drain them and throw them in the bowl. I know you're not supposed to do mashed potatoes this way, but eff that. They come out absolutely gorgeous and it is way easier than doing it by hand. Mix them on low just until everything comes together. You might need a dash more milk to make them the right consistency.

These are parfait, and I did nothing fussy to them.

Roast the chicken for 75-90 minutes at 425, or until the juices run clear when you cut between a leg and thigh. It is possible that the chicken will be done after an hour-- this happened to me. Just take the chicken out, tent it with foil, and keep roasting the veggies for another 20 minutes or so. You should let the chicken sit for 20 minutes anyway, since it will do something sciency to help the meat retain its juices. Plus, you can drain off the juices from the veggies at this point and make gravy. Nom.

I know!! IT IS BEAUTIFUL.

And there you have it, folks. Mashed potatoes. Veggies. Beautiful brown chicken. Gravy if you made it (juice from the pan, fat skimmed off, little bit of flour and butter, some milk/water, whisk it over high heat, BAM). EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZY.

 I LOVE ME SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS!

Enjoy.

Hyndman's Peak

Taken yesterday out East Fork

Look! There's a place for sale. We could be neighbors.

For Real.

Somedays I sit, starin out the window
Watchin this world pass me by
Sometimes I think, there's nothin to live for
I almost break down and cry
Sometimes I think I'm crazy; I'm crazy, oh so crazy!!
Why am I here? Am I just wastin my time?!
But then I see my baby, suddenly I'm not crazy!!
It all makes sense when I look into her eyes

Cause sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders
Everyone's leanin on me
Cause sometimes it feels like the world's almost over
But then she comes back to me

My baby girl, keeps gettin older
I watch her grow up with pride
People make jokes, cause they don't understand me
They just don't see my real side
I act like shit don't phase me; inside it drives me crazy!!
My insecurities could eat me alive
But then I see my baby, suddenly I'm not crazy!!
It all makes sense when I look into her eyes

The Best Part

OK. What is your favorite thing about fall? Otherwise known as autumn? Otherwise known as those brief weeks between late summer and early winter?

Our side gate

It is just about fall here right now. That is my hands-down ABSOLUTE favorite time of the year. I love the leaves turning colors, the weather getting cooler, the jeans and sweaters, the football games (!!), the pumpkin carving, the costume-buying, the smell in the air, the firewood stacking by the fireplace, the nutmeg/cinnamon/mace/cloves everywhere, the apples, the brisk walks, the cozy blankets.

I am in love with this tree.

Everything. We have a flame maple outside that is positively burning up, one branch at a time, and every time I duck under it a part of my heart finds peace.

The broom is not going to sweep the courtyard itself...

So. Your favorites of fall. Go.

Modern Family and McDonalds

1. Modern Family is one of the best shows I have seen in recent history. It is hilarious, all of the people are beautiful (especially Sophia Vergara, who is worth watching any amount of any show for a mere glimpse).

I told you. I KNOW!!!! SHE IS SO GORGEOUS.

And let's be honest, we watch television to forget our own problems, to laugh at those of others, and to ogle beautiful people. What makes this one rise above, though, is its ability to renew your faith in human nature. The way that it makes your heart glow with love. It is a family that is neurotic, hot-tempered, at-odds, and under siege, that still makes it all come together in the end because they love each other. A modern-day fairytale.

2. McDonalds
WHY IS THE FOOD SO CHEAP WHEN IT IS SO FUCKING BAD FOR YOU. WHY, I ASK YOU. Also, there is a Chicken McNugget shaped like America. That was not a mistake. The mere SMELL of the Happy Meal wafting to my nose from the back seat of the car makes me want to jump ship and just wallow in fries and nuggets and paper-thin burgers until I can't wallow anymore because my chins are impeding the movement of my belly rolls.

I Am Preserving This for Future Generations.

This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me, short of my husband who has done more than anyone ever could. These friends have made me so happy, so proud, and so grateful.

I would post the videos here, but as I'm not in them, and to preserve privacy somewhat, I will post a link to the original depository of the Love Bomb.

BAM.

The Perch

Perch on their water perch hung in the clear Bann River
Near the clay bank in alder dapple and waver,

Perch they called ‘grunts’, little flood-slubs, runty and ready,
I saw and I see in the river’s glorified body

That is passable through, but they’re bluntly holding the pass,
Under the water-roof, over the bottom, adoze

On the current, against it, all muscle and slur
In the finland of perch, the fenland of alder, on air

That is water, on carpets of Bann stream, on hold
In the everything flows and steady go of the world. 

--Seamus Heaney

Nostalgia, Tinged With Joy

I got the kid Robin Hood today.

Not the book, not the men in tights, not the Prince of Thieves. I got him Robin Hood. The original Disney movie, complete with baby Prince John and obsequious Sir Hiss and a minstrel narration. With Robin Hood, wily and sly. Maid Marian, beautiful and good. The Sheriff, a fat blister. The people of Nottingham, downtrodden but never hopeless. Friar Tuck! I should have known I'd end up Catholic, with him as the priest paragon.

That movie-- I mean, for real. That movie. It is beautiful. I love it in so many ways, and for so many reasons.

And although that is the perfect entreé to a post about it, I am so tired and mildly intoxicated it may have to wait 'til tomorrow.

Suffice it to say, redistribution of wealth has never been so attractive to this Libertarian.

Bad Meets Evil's Hell: The Sequel

This is basically why I haven't posted much in the last few days... or done ANY WORK on that fucking project that is due Monday. I've been listening to this album on loop, too absorbed to accomplish other things when it's playing.

It's a thing of beauty. Go buy it.

Wild Thyme Unseen

For the Kindle Whisperer
 
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
Whisper of running streams, and winter lightning.
The wild thyme unseen and the wild strawberry,
The laughter in the garden, echoed ecstasy
Not lost, but requiring, pointing to the agony
Of death and birth.

---

But to apprehend
The point of intersection of the timeless
With time, is an occupation for the saint—
No occupation either, but something given
And taken, in a lifetime's death in love,
Ardour and selflessness and self-surrender.
For most of us, there is only the unattended
Moment, the moment in and out of time,
The distraction fit, lost in a shaft of sunlight,
The wild thyme unseen, or the winter lightning
Or the waterfall, or music heard so deeply
That it is not heard at all, but you are the music
While the music lasts. These are only hints and guesses,
Hints followed by guesses; and the rest
Is prayer, observance, discipline, thought and action.

excerpted from "East Coker" and "The Dry Salvages," the second and third of Eliot's Four Quartets

The Beautiful Things

The first too-hot sip of coffee, lightened with cream, flashing across your teeth and tongue, heating your throat all the way down to your stomach.

The bright, clean snap of a green bean just picked off the vine, smelling of earth and life and sunshine.

The color of light passing through a glass of red wine, flashing on the table and piano.

The rain as it drives into the stone of the patio and falls from the eaves-- a harsh wave of indistinct sound broken by loud intermittent splashes.

The way the hearth fire glows, breathing orange and red and black, with a subdued crackling and a sudden snap, sending sparks eddying through the air.

The way your body sinks into the mattress at the end of a long day, your muscles aching, oozing into a puddle, your bones separating slightly, falling deeper into your body as you exhale.

Draw the Bath

Just here, and there,
Shade it ever so slightly
To show the smooth contour
Of porcelained sides
The slight motion
Of rose-scented water
The gentle beauty
Of her shoulder and neck

But here, and here,
Do not hide with graphite
The light on the bathtub
Glaring off of the side
As it dances in the water
And ignites her eyes

Your pencil can sing
But that light is a symphony.

Kick-Ass Sandbox? Check.

So we're constructing a sandbox out of stacked slabs of Idaho Quartzite.

Yeah, no furniture yet. We have to prioritize.

ETA: Picture proof!

 

 

Touches of the Small Silver Pencil of Starlight

The thousand arms of the forest were grey, and its million fingers silver. In a sky of dark green-blue-like slate the stars were bleak and brilliant like splintered ice. All that thickly wooded and sparsely tenanted countryside was stiff with a bitter and brittle frost. The black hollows between the trunks of the trees looked like bottomless, black caverns of that Scandinavian hell, a hell of incalculable cold. Even the square stone tower of the church looked northern to the point of heathenry, as if it were some barbaric tower among the sea rocks of Iceland. It was a queer night for anyone to explore a churchyard. But, on the other hand, perhaps it was worth exploring.

--Chesterton, "The Sign of the Broken Sword," in The Innocence of Father Brown