So Polite.

I could bore you to death by going over all of the chores and health-type shit I did today, but instead, I will gift you with Charlie's current favorite story. It is a true story, and none of the names or places have been altered to protect anyone's identities.

Charlie's Current Favorite Story, as told by Charlie

Showing Clifford the view

Once upon a time, there was a Mama and her Charlie. They were riding on a BIG BIG AIRPLANE. And they were going from Wisconsin where Grandma Mary lives all the way to Hailey. So Mama and Charlie are on the plane. And Mama hears a rumbly sound, and she turns to Charlie and she says, "What was that noise?"

(This is the part where Charlie can hardly keep a straight face, because he knows what is coming. It takes a few seconds for him to compose himself and continue.)

And Charlie yells, "EXCUSE ME I FARTED!!!!!!!!"

(That is the part where Charlie dissolves into giggles. He leaves out the part about how everyone on the packed flight looked around shiftily and edged away from us.)

And they all lived happily ever after the end.

A-Peelin'

Pushing past the pudding skin
That life forms on the heart
Is not for the weak of stomach.
It takes balls of steel
to peel it off
and delve into love, again,
one spoonful at a time.

NB: I do not know why this thing is stuck in my head. It is repulsive and attractive at the same time, like one of those hideously ugly dogs that you cannot hate. It turns my stomach, and I know that is just because it is so appropriate. Fuck you, grotesquely apt metaphor.