Unexpected Email from My Dad that Made My Day, in Its Entirety

There was something I forgot to say to you as I am thinking about you now. I want to thank you for all the wonderful, caring and loving memories you gave me as you grew up before my eyes- I love to think about you- you are still my favorite thing to think about- and what a tapestry of richness it is- from you dancing with the puppy dog at our first place in Moline to your ice show, your love of playing 'can you go up,up,up' with me, your laugh, your never tiring interest in books of any kind- your hugs, your smiles, the sound of your voice, just being able to open the door and look at you as you slept- looking like an angel or a princess- and what a feeling of happiness and peace and love it gave me.

Open Letter #1

Dear Kitty,

I see you.

I know you think that creeping onto my lap in slow motion, low to the ground, one slight paw movement at a time, makes you invisible. I know this, because you freeze and look up at me if I "notice" you, and don't move again until I look away.

Guess what.

I can still feel your paws sinking all fifteen pounds of you into my gut as you slink onto me. Also, my eyes are like one foot from you. You are rather large, even if you are moving in a ninja-like fashion.

I will let you think you have won this time. But I am getting up when I goshdarn want to get up, regardless of whether or not you're all settled in and looking innocent. And if you start licking yourself, it is over, because your breath smells like ass.

Grumpily,
Me

P.S. For real, do something about your breath.
P.P.S. Dammit, I want to get up.
P.P.P.S. Are you snoring?
P.P.P.P.S. I wanted to sit here forever, anyway.
P.P.P.P.P.S. GET OFF ME