YOU WERE WRONG.
Here I am, back again, all the traveling and laundry and business catch-up done. Well, mostly done. OK, I am procrastinating finishing all that shit by posting here. What can I say? I have my priorities in line.
Tonight, ladies and gents, I made fondue. Fondue! YES! FONDUE!!
|This is perfection. If your mouth is not watering, you should go to the doctor and get checked for that.|
And I am going to excuse the rest of my post by saying... um, I made fondue. And it really just gets you shithoused. IT DOES. For some reason there is just more alcohol than you anticipate, every time. It doesn't matter how you make it or how many people eat it or what. You are wasted at the end.
Which is right now.
16 oz (1 lb.) Gruyère cheese (or Swiss Cheese)
2 T flour
2 cloves garlic
2 C white wine plus MOAR for drinking
1 T lemon juice
1 shot Kirsch (AKA Cherry Brandy or Cherry liquor)
1 t nutmeg
1-2 loaves French Bread
Optional: An apple, a pear, boiled potatoes, or blanched broccoli, cut into cubes
Shred your cheese. I am pissed I didn't remember to get a photo of the unshredded block, since I got ACTUAL Gruyère, which is super spendy. I always used to make it with store brand Swiss when I was in grad school, so this was a momentous occasion. Oh well.
|Like half the ingredients. I don't know why I didn't take this picture with bread, etc... whatever.|
Open your wine and pour a 2 cups plus one glass for yourself. Mmm.
|Please use an acceptable Chardonnay. Something you would drink all by itself.|
|The beginning of the end|
|I didn't have time to take a picture of it cubed. Use your imagination.|
|Do not add more than a little bit or you will be sorry.|
|Unappetizing? GOD YOU ARE SO IMPATIENT.|
|I look the same. Bitch is crazy.|
|Kirsch I bought last year when I last made fondue. Thank God liquor stays.|
|I didn't sprinkle the nutmeg very well, so it kind of clumped up before I stirred it in.|
|Picture Charlie took while I was getting everything set up outside|
|OMG GET IN MAH MOUF|
By the end of the night, you will all be drunk. If you are not drunk, you did not have enough fondue and/or did not properly enjoy the beverage service. Then you can post about it on your blog or do something you will possibly regret with one of your guests.