Monday, September 12, 2011

Good Stuff, BITCHES

What do you think of the cursory addition of the epithet "Bitches" to off-the-cuff statements, highlighting the badassery of the speaker?

I just got back from the gym, and I ran five miles, BITCHES.
That Sichuan pepper went down like a peapod, BITCHES.
I just nailed that test, BITCHES.
I walked to the hospital in a blizzard with a broken leg, carrying my grandma on my BACK, BITCHES.

The thing is, usually, if you have done something badass enough, there is no reason to tack on BITCHES at the end. Shouldn't your statement stand for itself? You ran five miles! You ate a fucking hot pepper! You nailed a test! You... well, I think that last one was just a bald-faced lie. But still. Point being, do we need to call someone our bitch to be badass? If that's the deal, we should be able to use it with regular ol' stuff, and it will still lend badassery to our deed.

I just got back from the knitting circle, and I purled my scarf, BITCHES.
That applesauce went down like water, BITCHES.
I just failed that test, BITCHES.
I lied about my grandma, BITCHES.

Hm. Maybe it does kind of work. I guess you learn something new every day.

BITCHES.

3 comments:

  1. Comments are always welcome, unless you are going to be mean, in which case you can go straight to hell,

    BITCHES

    ReplyDelete
  2. I prefer BITCHIN. Used as a adjective it has the same oomph and I can still say it while speaking to my mom. Heh.

    I just nailed that BITCHIN test, mom.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love walking up to a group of my guy friends and going "Hey bitches!" in a super girly voice. They love it, too!

    Maybe.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are always welcome, unless you are going to be mean, in which case you can go straight to hell.

Please leave at least some form of name so I don't get all paranoid and think you are a stalker or my mother.