I kind of feel like I may have already entitled an entry here "Procrastination," but I am too lazy to check.
I am currently putting off a deadline. I was recently hired on as a contract grant writer by a national corporation. I used to be the boss of the girl who hired me. I was thinking, "Hey! It will be fun to feel like a productive member of society again! To be doing work that requires skill, and thinking, and writing! To get PAID! IN REAL MONEY! To feel like your job is somewhat respectable!"
GOD was I wrong. I hate work. I hate working. Except now I have committed to it, and have to do it. And I have a deadline, and it is just HANGING over my head. Like the sword of Damocles. That's the one I'm thinking of, right? Damocles? Anyway, it is like a sharp sword. Over my head. About to drop. On the 20th.
And even though I spent the last countless weeks out of my mind with boredom, I now have a million and eleventy things that I MUST do before I write this project. Just because I am putting it off. UGH and the more I put it off the heavier it weighs on my mind, until it is like an Escalade sitting on my shoulders.
I have a whole entire day off tomorrow, but instead of starting/working on/finishing the grant, I will undoubtedly make bolognese sauce all day, then construct a perfect lasagna in the evening.
Because that is what respectable, employed, white-collar contract writers DO.
Like a motherfucking ADULT.
Do you make up the words that I have to type to prove I'm not the GoogleBot? Because here is what I've seen so far: MotherHA; unizar; dammit, I can't remember the other one. Fuck.
ReplyDeleteOh, and GRANT WRITE LIKE THE WIND NAOW!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAA I STILL HAVEN'T DONE IT I SUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ReplyDeleteYou don't suck, you are awesome. Maybe TOOOOO awesome. Maybe dial down the awesome just long enough to do the grant thing? Is that possible? GO WRITE NOW!!!
ReplyDeleteTeehee. Go write now. PUNNY.
ReplyDeleteI have to write it today...it's due tomorrow.
see what I did there?
ReplyDeleteSTOP PLAYING AT THE LAUNDROMAT AND GO WRITE!!
That hurts me worse than it hurts you.
I DID IT!!!! I was so fast that I feel like a total rockstar. Ah, the weight lifted off of my shoulders! THE REST OF THIS DAY SHALL BE BLISSFUL!
ReplyDelete