Siiick.

So although, 80% of the time, I am a bad ass motherfucker, there is at least 20% of the time that I am a mess of frayed emotions and sneaky self-hate spirals and general bitch-and-whininess. I am telling you this because when I get sick, the penudulum swings to the opposite end of the one I'm usually occupying, and ALL I CAN DO is whine. Like a tiny infant.

I woke up yesterday feeling ick, and chalked it up to not-enough-sleep combined with too-much-wine. But it was my throat that was hurting, and kind of my sinuses, and my body was kind of aching. And it didn't get better all day. And I lost my appetite, and my throat got worse, and then by the time I went to bed, I was feeling like someone had beaten me severely and forced me to swallow a pineapple.

Then, as I laid in bed, I got cold. The kind of cold that was like being whipped from the inside of your skin with a cat o'nine tails made of ice. It hurt to move, but I was shivering (and therefore moving) nonstop. So I got out of bed, put on a fleece jogging suit, added two downy blankets to the bed, then huddled under my pile of clothes and covers, waiting to heat up.

Finally, about an hour in, I started getting cozily warm. It was then that my heretofore unused brain realized I probably had a fever, as it was about 75 degrees in the house, and I looked like I was sleeping outside in the tundra. So I got up, took a few ibuprofen, went back to bed.

Passed out. Thirty minutes later, I woke up to go pee, then couldn't go back to sleep because I was worried that Wal-Mart was going to sneak into our store and steal all the wine. Also, I could not stop thinking about the Rogue varietal that we had to bottle in the morning. This is when I realized I was hallucinating.

I drank some water and waited for the ibuprofen to kick in. About 20 minutes later, I started getting uncomfortably warm. I took of the blanket, then the next blanket, then shed my clothes, then finally laid there in my undies on the bed, sweating so much that I literally drenched the blanket. Gross.

Somewhere in here Dust woke up to go to work. Around 5AM I finally passed out, and slept til 9AM, when I woke up feeling like every muscle I had wanted to cry.

I am supposed to do ALL THE WORK on a grant today, and all I feel like I can do is sip tea and lie here inert. I am such a damn baby.